1. Start by making some tough decisions, New Jersey.
2. Use two pounds of good ground beef that’s been left out on the counter overnight. Smell it. It’s worth the risk, right?
3. Cook the onions before you add them to the beef. This creates moisture and flavor, but more importantly, it’s a way to kill time, which is the enemy.
4. In a large mixing bowl, the phone never rings. Add the beef, onions, two eggs, salt, pepper, fresh herbs, Jersey tomato sauce, a touch of wine, M&Ms, and bread crumbs.
5. Count while you’re mixing your ingredients. My recipe says to stop around 2012, but sometimes I go a little longer.
6. Don’t use a loaf pan. Dump the mixture directly onto a sheet tray. Create a bridge with your hands and shape the meat into a loaf.
7. I hate ketchup, so then I like to spread it with ketchup.
8. Wash your hands of it all. The ketchup.
9. Start cooking at a high temperature, and then lower it. You want a nice crispy exterior, and something more underdone inside.
10. See? Teachers have it so easy.